


right then i realized (you're the love of my life)

by jbhmalum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Airports, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Going on Dates, Hiking, Idiots in Love, M/M, a bit of everything, ashton is absolutely smitten there's really no other point to this, more sleeping involved in this than i thought but oh well!, soft boyfriends, takes place throughout 2018 but it doesn't matter That much, yes i included michael being scared of heights bc it's really cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbhmalum/pseuds/jbhmalum
Summary: “Ash,” Luke mumbles, half asleep on Michael’s shoulder. It seems the people fighting on the TV screen aren’t enough to keep him up. “Come cuddle. Not the time for a photoshoot.”“Coming, coming.”Ashton looks at the picture for a second, before shaking his head and pocketing his phone. The real thing is right there in front of him; it would be a shame not to appreciate it. He can look back at the picture when he’s on his own and feeling lonely.*or: 5 times ashton takes pictures of his boys and 1 time they insist he needs to be in the picture too
Relationships: Michael Clifford/Luke Hemmings/Calum Hood/Ashton Irwin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 39





	right then i realized (you're the love of my life)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!  
> Here's a little ot4 thing i got obsessed with and just HAD to write. If you want to know what inspired this, you can go [here](https://michaelownsmyheart.tumblr.com/post/641576031659163648/right-then-i-realized-youre-the-love-of-my-life) and see for yourself!  
> I don't really have much to say apart from I hope you like this because I certainly do!! (Don't be fooled there is no plot they are literally just cute and in love)
> 
> title from Guys by the 1975
> 
> Enjoy! xx

**1.**

Typically, the rain goes from trickling to pouring as soon as Ashton gets out of the car with no consideration for his hands full of bags. With a cuss he hastily locks the car before running up to the front door. Thankfully it’s not locked, allowing him to get inside before he can get too drenched.

“I’m home!” He shouts, closing the door behind him. He swings the grocery bags as he tries to get his muddy shoes off in the entrance. None of them have cleaned the house in a while, but Ashton would say that’s no excuse to make it dirtier than it already is.

“Bedroom,” is his only response from Calum’s muffled voice.

“Let me put the groceries away, I’ll be here in a minute,” Ashton replies with a smile on his damp face. He makes a note to himself to stop by the bathroom to dry it.

Calum must deem his answer satisfying enough, since the only reply Ashton gets is silence.

Once he’s taken off his jacket he goes to put away the food that needs to be put in the fridge that was in desperate need of restocking. Alright, it’s true that they’re not really on top of their game when it comes to doing everyday life stuff such as going grocery shopping, but Ashton is also willing to bet the food would last them much longer if it weren’t for Luke. That boy is a menace and will eat everything in his line of sight no matter if he’s hungry or not. He often ropes Michael into doing the same, so he most definitely never tries to slow Luke down. Calum and Ashton are always just way too endeared to tell either of them anything about it.

When that’s done Ashton takes a look into the other bags, deciding that the rest can wait another few hours before being put away.

He doesn’t waste any time, makes his way upstairs silently enough not to disrupt the silence of the house. It’s not entirely silent, though; the rain is falling quite heavily on the roof, and Ashton can make out the sound of reality TV from the bedroom as he gets into the bathroom next to it.

He quickly rubs his face with his fluffy towel, dries his hair roughly to make sure it has room to breathe. Satisfied, he leaves for the bedroom, knocking once not to startle anyone before opening it, but he stops in the doorway.

The sight that greets him is one that will never stop making his heart melt and his stomach flutter with butterflies. All three of his boys are cuddled up together, Calum and Michael engrossed in the TV. Calum is pressed against Michael’s side, face tucked under Michael’s chin, Michael’s arm locked around his shoulders. Their legs are entangled, together and with Luke’s who’s taken residence on Michael’s other shoulder, and Ashton can’t wait to add his own legs to the messy pile. In a minute.

“Hey Ash,” Calum greets him softly.

“Come here,” Michael says, making grabby hands at him from under Calum and Luke.

“Just a sec.”

Ashton takes his phone from his back pocket and opens his camera.

“What are you doing?” Calum asks, though he doesn’t seem too interested to know the answer, his focus on the TV.

“Nothing.”

He makes sure all of his boys are in the frame, the bright light of the rainy sky making them shine over the white bed sheets, then snaps the picture silently, and another one for good measure.

Ashton has always loved photography as a form of expression. Obviously, his first love has been and always will be music and songwriting, but Ashton has figured out a long time ago that if something allows him to be creative, then there’s a high chance he’ll be drawn to it.

When he was a child he’d take their mom’s old film camera and be careful not to mess anything up because he knew his mom loved taking photos of Ashton and his siblings, and he didn’t want to waste any film because he was being silly about it. But as he grew up and then got the means to, he started buying cool cameras, happy to capture the things in his life he found worth committing to memory so vividly.

The one thing he loves more than any creative endeavours, though, is his boys. Which all works out, really, because what is a creative mind without its muses? Ashton gets to write songs about them, and he gets to take pictures of them whenever he pleases. And whether it pleases them or not.

“Ash,” Luke mumbles, half asleep on Michael’s shoulder. It seems the people fighting on the TV screen aren’t enough to keep him up. “Come cuddle. Not the time for a photoshoot.”

“Coming, coming.”

Ashton looks at the picture for a second, before shaking his head and pocketing his phone. The real thing is right there in front of him; it would be a shame not to appreciate it. He can look back at the picture when he’s on his own and feeling lonely.

Figuring laying in bed with jeans on won’t be comfortable, he takes them off, as he does his other clothes when he notices one of Luke’s hoodies on the back of the chair, putting it on instead.

“Behind me,” Luke says softly as Ashton makes his way to the bed. “I’m cold.”

Ashton looks at the three of them, shaking his head at how typically lazy they’re being. He takes the blanket at the foot of the bed, throwing it over their bodies before joining them under it. Figuring Calum and Michael won’t fight for him, Ashton decides to indulge Luke — and himself, really — plastering himself against his back and holding him close.

“Hi love,” he says softly against the back of Luke’s neck.

“Hey Ash,” Luke mumbles. “You’re warm. Love you.”

As if all he was waiting for was for Ashton to get here, he promptly falls asleep with a heavy sigh.

“Love you too,” Ashton says with a smile.

“You were gone a while,” Calum says, voice blending with the rain falling on the roof. Ashton looks up from Luke’s neck to find Calum looking at him over Michael’s chest, eyes warm and tired.

“Yeah, apparently everyone decided to go shopping on this lovely Friday afternoon,” Ashton replies.

“You better have gotten the good stuff,” Michael cuts in.

Ashton rolls his eyes fondly. “Yes Mike, I got mac and cheese and I got your favourite drinks and I got tea.”

“Knew I loved you for a reason.”

“Shut up,” Ashton huffs, but he feels a hand on the back of his head, Michael’s soft fingers threading through his hair, and a satisfied purr comes out of him at that.

“I think I’m gonna join Luke now,” Ashton says with a last smile to his two awake boyfriends before hiding his face back into Luke’s neck. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Love you.”

He hadn’t thought he was tired, but his boyfriends’ energy — or lack thereof — must have gotten to him, because he’s asleep in a second.

  
  
  
  


**2.**

Going on dates is something they’re still learning how to navigate, especially in public.

Which is why, unofficially, they’re all going out together right now. Officially, Luke is dating Michael, and Ashton is dating Calum. It’s not ideal, but it’s only for a few hours, and only really a thing if they feel like kissing anybody, or being a little more hands on. It’s how they started out, anyway, how it still was less than five months ago, so it’s not the weirdest thing to them.

As he watches Luke and Michael hold hands entering the bowling alley, Ashton chuckles thinking about them all not being together. He can’t believe it took them so long to figure it out. To realize what the missing piece was. It seems so obvious now, and no matter how happy he was with Calum before, he knows couldn’t go back to a life just with him. Calum is aware, and not hurt by that fact at all seeing as he feels just the same. They’re not the only love of each other’s life, after all, and a missing piece of the puzzle would only make them feel empty.

While the bowling alley attendant prepares their game, they go and change into the ugly yet very cute shoes once they’re on Michael. No, Ashton will not lie and say they look good with Luke’s sparkly blouse or Calum’s striped shirt; Michael however, clad in black pants and a black sweater and a black hat, looks cute.

“You could have made an effort, really,” Luke had said upon seeing Michael dressed like this as he’d joined them at the door. “This is our first real date in months.”

“Hey, I made an effort! I didn’t wear a hoodie, did I?”

Calum had come up to Michael, kissing him before looking at him with a slight smile. “No you didn’t, and we are very glad for it. That turtleneck is doing wonders for my eyes.”

Luke doesn’t seem too bothered by Michael’s clothes now, if the way his eyes are glued to him is anything to go by. Calum keeps teasing him about it, and Ashton can’t help but join him at some point. It’s too easy, especially when Luke misses his first two throws because Michael is standing next to him.

“I forget they’re that bad when it’s just the two of them,” Ashton says, watching Michael lay butterfly kisses on Luke’s nose after he finally knocks some pins down. “Well, not just the two of them, but you know.”

“No, I know,” Calum says softly, squeezing Ashton’s thigh absent-mindedly. He’s looking at the other two fondly, letting out a sigh when he seems to remember himself. “Yeah, they are pretty bad, aren’t they?”

“I got a spare!” Luke shouts happily, coming back to them. “I’m not the worst anymore!”

Calum squeezes Ashton’s thigh again, giving him a knowing look before getting up. “My turn,” he says.

They go on playing, Michael remaining at his seat while Luke plays from now on, and yeah, Ashton is now the worst, because he can barely knock down a couple pins each time. Other than that, the ball spends its time in one gutter or the other. He grumbles, because he’s not usually that bad, but he doesn’t care too much, happy to see his boys have fun.

Still, when they’ve been at it for a while and his score is still the lowest one, he’s ready to salvage this.

“Okay, I’m getting this one,” he says, determination in his voice. 

With one last sigh Ashton throws the ball, watching it roll as if in slow motion, fingers crossed. This is it. This is his last chance to prove to his boyfriends that he’s not absolute crap at this stupid game, and the ball is getting closer to the pins and it’s not going in the gutter and–

“Yes!” He lets out, doing a little jump when all the pins get knocked down at once. “Fuck yeah, I got ‘em, told you I– hey!”

The pout wouldn’t leave his face if Ashton tried to get it to.

Calum is giving him a thumbs up, clearly excited for him but slightly annoyed by Luke and Michael next to him, and rightly so. Because their two blond boyfriends are too busy shoving their tongues down each other’s throats, hands getting the other’s hair all messed up.

Ashton’s first reaction is to look around frantically, making sure no one has their phone out, ready to post this for the world to see. But obviously no one cares about them here; every other group is just busy screaming in victory or defeat.

Crossing his arms, he looks back to his boyfriends, who have not moved from each other one bit even when Ashton whines, “are you kidding me? You guys missed my first strike for that?”, then to Calum who’s rolling his eyes fondly and pointing to Ashton’s polaroid on the empty seat. It’s not what Ashton intended to use it for, but maybe he can use the picture later to tease them about it.

(Or he can just look at it when he wants them to make out and they’re not here to do it for him, a voice says at the back of his head, but he ignores it for now.)

He retrieves the camera, trying as well as he can to frame everyone, making sure to include Calum giving the other two the middle finger. He’s playing it up, because it’s clear he doesn’t mind that much, so Ashton just lets out a chuckle before taking the picture.

The flashlight going off prompts Luke to lean back, slightly out of breath. Calum shakes his head next to him.

“You guys are unbelievable,” he says.

“What, you jealous?” Luke asks, turning to him.

“Well, kinda, yeah.”

As if to mock them, Luke is the one to roll his eyes before leaning forward and bringing his lips to Calum’s. Michael watches for a second, then turns to Ashton, whose eyes have widened as he whispers, “guys, we can’t do this here!”

“Ash,” Michael reassures, getting up to join him, hand flying to Ashton’s cheek. “I assure you, no one cares.”

“But–”

The rest of his complaint gets swallowed by Michael’s mouth on his, only staying there for a flutter of time; something chaste and sweet, there clearly to bring his focus to something else. It works; all he can see now is Michael’s adoring gaze on him, and Luke and Calum who have moved to talking and laughing together behind him.

“See?” Michael says, pecking his lips one more time. “No one cares. Let’s just be us a bit, yeah?”

Everyone’s eyes are shining with unadulterated joy, and if it’s only made better by locking lips freely, well. Ashton sure isn’t going to take that away from them.  
  
  
  


**3.**

Everything is silent and unfamiliar around him when Ashton opens his eyes.

The first thing he notices is that he’s on his own, in a bed that smells a bit like his boyfriends but not enough, the room plunged in darkness. There’s light coming through the cracks in the blinds, but it doesn’t illuminate anything; to Ashton it’s only a bunch of barely glowing lines, not helpful at all.

He doesn’t like waking up on his own. Hasn’t liked it since he and Calum started dating almost three years ago, and even less since the four of them got their shit together. He has to more often than he’d like, but usually he’ll be on the tour bus, which is more than familiar. This isn’t. The numbness in his limbs tells him he had a good night’s sleep, at least, so he relaxes, figuring nothing about this means danger.

When trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes proves unsuccessful, he brings his hands up to rub them. That works a bit better, and by that point he’s a bit more awake, everything starting to come back to him in waves.

The little getaway, right. The house by the beach that Luke and Calum had spent weeks choosing, insisting that they needed the perfect one to disconnect properly. Well, Ashton feels disconnected alright. He grabs his phone on the bedside table, frowning when he sees it’s already past ten a.m.. Too early for Luke or Michael to be awake on a day like this, and way too late for him to still be in bed. He must have been tired, especially if he didn’t hear anyone get up.

Shaking himself, he gets up and opens the blinds, the bright sunshine waking him fully. He puts on some clothes he isn’t sure are his but that fit like a glove nonetheless before padding downstairs. He hears playful voices from the kitchen, the sound and the smell of something cooking on the stove and– is someone making breakfast? Like, actual breakfast?

"That's not how you do it," Michael's raspy voice whines, accent slipping through. "It's gonna be way too burnt."

"Stop criticizing my toast making technique," Calum replies.

"There’s no such thing as a _toast making technique,_ you either do it wrong or right, and you’re clearly doing it wrong–" 

He lets out a hum as he's cut off abruptly, most likely by Calum's lips if Ashton knows them, which he does. 

Keeping his footsteps light, Ashton stops in the corner to the kitchen, his eyes widening a little at the scene. Here Michael and Calum are, kissing over burning toast before Michael begrudgingly lets go to take vegemite out of a bag and put it on the kitchen island, while Luke grumbles over the stove as he makes what looks like perfectly fine pancakes.

 _This needs to be captured,_ Ashton tells himself, because this never happens. Never. If Ashton doesn’t cook himself, or doesn’t convince Calum to do it, then their meals — breakfast included — are nothing more than take out or leftovers.

He curses himself for not having taken his phone down with him, but he swiftly goes back upstairs to retrieve it. He would rather have his camera, but he doesn’t remember in which bag it’s packed, so his phone will have to do. It doesn’t really matter; Ashton only wants proof that they’re capable of doing this, so that they won’t have any excuse not to do it in the future.

He makes his way downstairs for the second time, stopping at the kitchen entrance and snapping a couple of pictures of his boyfriends, who are none the wiser, before calling them.

“So, what’s the occasion?” he says.

Luke turns to him with an excited smile on his face, so Ashton snaps another picture, doing the same when the other boys turn to him with a similar expression of joy and pride on their faces.

“Do you like it?” Michael asks excitedly as Ashton joins them into the kitchen.

“Do I _like_ it?” Michael nods. “Babe, this is fucking amazing. What a feast, I’m honoured.”

At the smile that lights up Michael’s face, Ashton can’t help but lean forward to press a kiss to his rosy lips. It’s light, and doesn’t last long because Ashton’s stomach rumbles at this moment, making them erupt into laughter. Ashton greets Calum and Luke much the same way, before Luke announces the pancakes are done, so they move to the island.

“So, the toast is a bit burnt–”

“I told you!”

“–but,” Calum goes on, half-heartedly glaring at Michael. “It’s still good to eat. You won’t even notice it with all the vegemite.”

“Guys, really, it’s perfect.”

Once they’re settled at their seats, Calum and Michael bickering like children — Luke and Ashton just ignore them, because it’s good entertainment, really — Ashton practically moans at the first bite of pancakes. Michael teases him for it, Luke flushing at the praise Ashton gives him.

“You know I’ll be expecting this every time we have a day off, right?” Ashton says. The food is disappearing very, very quickly.

“I wouldn’t get used to this if I were you,” Calum says.

Ashton shakes his head. “Huh huh, too late. This is too good not to happen again.”

“Luke and I already told Calum this is literally the only day we’ll let him wake us up this early when we don’t need to go anywhere,” Michael says through a mouthful of toast.

“Well, now I have proof that you’re perfectly capable of cooking breakfast, so I’m not letting this go so easily.”

After they’ve all stuffed themselves with the ridiculously good food, Luke and Michael go shower while Calum prepares the spare bedroom for him and Ashton to meditate. Ashton just finds himself unable to move from his seat, eyes glued on the picture that looks way more domestic than he’d realized.

He sighs, a dumb smile creeping up on his face, which he hides in his arms as if there were anyone here to see him and make fun of him for being completely lovestruck. He loves his boys so fucking much no words could do justice to how he feels, and he wants to watch them like this, in love with him and with each other until there’s nothing left of them for the sun to shine on.  
  
  
  


**4.**

Fresh air on his face. Fresh, pure air on his face. Ashton has fucking missed it.

Tour only started less than three weeks ago, but he must be rusty because it’s been feeling like a lot more than that, so when the last show of the Australian leg of the tour ended, Ashton immediately suggested they stay out here a little longer. He wanted to make sure they appreciated their home outside of prying eyes. Which is why he decided to take the four of them hiking where he used to go with his mom and siblings.

Michael isn’t too pleased by that, it seems.

“I fucking hate all of you,” he shouts through the merciless wind, carefully putting one foot in front of the other. “I’m gonna break up with you as soon as we’re safe at the top.”

“Then why are you squeezing Calum’s hand so tight?” Luke shouts back, teasing.

“Because I don’t want to fucking die you asshole.”

“You’re not gonna die, Mike.” Luke looks back towards Ashton with a fond smile and roll of his eyes. Ashton snaps a picture of it with his camera before Luke turns back to Michael. “You’re so dramatic. It’s just a bit of wind.”

Ashton can hear the pout in Michael’s voice when he says, “A bit? You won’t say that when it knocks you off the cliff and you crack your skull on the rocks– Cal, not so fast, fucking hell.” He clutches at Calum’s arm harder.

“Well then, can’t have that,” Luke says, mostly to himself.

He stops where he is, until Ashton catches up to him, and grabs his camera free hand. “Just so we don’t die,” he insists. Ashton just kisses his knuckles, not letting go of his hand as they walk up the trail, before going back to his camera and the view.

It’s breathtaking.

The waves are crashing against the cliffside, the ocean clear blue and infinite as it fades into the bright sky. The wind — which, Michael is right; there’s not just a little bit of it — is stinging his eyes, but it doesn’t prevent him from enjoying the view, far from it.

As he walks up with Luke’s hand warm in his, Calum stringing Michael along ahead of them, Ashton takes picture after picture of the place that makes him feel nostalgic in the best of ways. His mind often plays tricks on him, making him think his memories are better than they are only to have him disappointed when he’s faced with them in real time. But this isn’t like that. This is fucking gorgeous, and he feels free, with the memory of his mom running after Harry and Lauren so they wouldn’t fall and the loves of his life here with him in the present.

“I love you,” he tells Luke, just because he can.

Luke smiles, gives him a kiss that shades his face from the wind for a second.

“I love you too,” Luke says back to him. “Thank you.”

Unfortunately Ashton has to let go of Luke’s hand when the pathway gets too narrow to remain side by side. He can see Michael and Calum have had to do the same a bit further up, but Michael is still clinging to Calum’s arm. Calum must be struggling quite a bit to climb the muddy steps, but Ashton can already tell he won’t ask Michael to let go.

They are disgustingly adorable, but they’re also Ashton’s, so he loves it with his entire heart.

They walk up the trail a bit more, getting further and higher above sea level, until Luke and Ashton finally catch up to Michael and Calum, who are both sitting on the ground. The spot is a good one to appreciate the view, to take in the beauty of this place.

Michael is doing anything but that, though. He’s sulking at the ground while taking small sips from his water bottle. Calum is rubbing his shoulder and whispering reassurances to try and calm him down, but Ashton can see the glint in his eyes that tells him he’s holding back from laughing at Michael.

Ashton takes a few pictures from this vantage point because he’ll regret it if he doesn’t, before crouching down next to Michael and Calum.

“You okay babe?” he asks a slightly trembling Michael.

“No, I hate you for making me do this.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad, is it?”

“Yes it is,” Michael grumbles, though he softens a bit under Calum and Ashton’s hands on him.

Ashton feels a little bad. It’s clear Michael isn’t having the best time, and he’s a little pale, but in all fairness, he’d barely said anything when Ashton had mentioned this little trip, so he hadn’t thought twice about it, just figured everyone was okay with this.

“Hey Mike,” Luke cuts in, coming back from the edge. “Don’t you wanna look around now that you’re on the ground? It’s fucking beautiful, and there’s no way you can fall from here.”

Michael shakes his head no, crossing his arms.

“You’re missing out,” Calum says, not even trying to sound convincing. He only has eyes for Michael, anyway. Ashton would be insulted if this weren’t _them._

“I’m not, I’m sure I’ll catch up looking at Ashton’s pictures.”

“Speaking of pictures,” Ashton starts, getting up with a kiss to Michael’s temple. “Get down here, Luke love.”

Luke frowns but shrugs, sitting down on Michael’s other side, looping an arm around Michael’s middle. That makes Michael’s nose scrunch up adorably.

Camera in front of his face, Ashton makes sure all three of his boys are right where he wants them in the frame, front and center with the horizon stretching out behind them.

“Come on, smile for me babe,” he tells Michael when he hasn’t stopped sulking.

“No, I’m not smiling.”

“You’re such a baby,” Luke says, rolling his eyes. Ashton can see his hands start roaming before Michael feels them on his waist.

“Stop it,” Michael says, lips twitching at the tickles.

“Smile on your own, then.”

Michael doesn’t, only pouts, so Luke doesn’t stop and Ashton rushes to press the shutter release when Calum leans in with crinkled eyes to lay a kiss on Michael’s cheek. He takes another one, then another one, only stopping for fear of his storage being full.

“Perfect,” Ashton says, looking back at the first picture. “It’s perfect for the ‘gram.”

“Don’t call it that,” Luke says, while Michael complains about them probably looking like idiots.

“I’ll call it whatever I want, and you’re going up on it.”

The picture is absolutely ridiculous, Michael is totally right. But it’s perfect to him, and he’ll make sure to keep that one safe and sound, because it’s worth more than the most beautiful of views.

  
  
  
  


**5.**

Ashton wants nothing more than to go home. And to sleep.

Unfortunately, it seems he can’t do either at the moment. The first one isn’t his fault. He can’t go home, because they were supposed to board their flight two hours ago, and it’s going to be delayed for at least another two hours. That’s being optimistic, of course. Everyone here knows there’s a high chance they’re going to spend the night in the terminal, ending up with numb limbs and a headache.

Which is why Ashton would very much like to sleep. It’s almost 3 a.m., and he’s been pacing around the Madrid airport for hours, and his body is tired from it. Possibly from the two months of tour as well, though that’s just details.

But he can’t sleep, which is his own brain’s fault, he knows. It’s just that his boys are all asleep on the seats across from him, looking peaceful and rested, and Ashton can’t look away from them. He also can’t bear the thought of all of them being unconscious in there with no one to keep an eye on them. That’s unfair; their security isn’t far away, and they all know how to do their job just fine. Ashton just feels a little too protective, sometimes, he can't help it.

With a sigh that starts deep within him, Ashton lays down on the seats still, head pillowed on his coat, and wills his eyes to stay open as he takes in the unfortunately familiar sight in front of him.

In the middle seat, Michael is curled up on himself — well, as much as he’s able to considering how tall he is — arms crossed and head half on the headrest and half on his own shoulder. It can’t be comfortable, surely (it certainly won’t be when he wakes up and his neck feels all twisted). Luke’s face is resting against Michael’s on his shoulder. His slouched posture is going to be a pain in a few hours as well, but Ashton knows there isn’t really a better option here, so he lets himself smile fondly, shifts his gaze to Calum on Michael’s other side, head pillowed on his bag.

He looks lonely, Ashton muses, though he quickly realizes he’s probably just projecting his own feelings onto his boyfriend. He wishes he could join Calum and curl up against him, but there’s no room over there. And he’d definitely fall asleep like that, which is the opposite of what he wants.

Thinking about sleeping makes him yawn into his arm, so he quickly sits up and shakes himself. He thinks about it for a minute, then figures he can risk going to the Starbucks to his right; he’ll be able to keep an eye on them from here, surely.

He goes before he can change his mind and before the queue gets too long. He orders “something not too sweet but with a lot of sugar, please,” to which the barista frowns, but she prepares him something that he just pays for and brings back to their seats as soon as he can.

It is quite sweet, but it could be worse, he reasons, so he drinks it slowly, trying to keep himself up, eyes not leaving his sleeping boys.

At some point Calum’s face turns into a frown, his body twitching as he turns around on himself until his legs are thrown haphazardly on Michael’s lap. Michael’s hand flies to hold his calf in his sleep, remaining there.

If Ashton’s heart could burst open right there Ashton would let it, because it’s overflowing with love, and Ashton isn’t sure how it’s holding all of it in. So he does the only thing he can think of, taking his camera out of his cabin bag because he packed it last minute, capturing this moment to keep with him forever. It’s one of the cutest pictures he has of them, and he has to stop himself from cooing out loud.

He takes another picture, _just in case,_ and spends way too long sitting on the bench looking at it, wishing they were sleeping somewhere else, something comfortable where Ashton could join them and hide with them under the covers. Where he could wrap them all in his arms and keep them safe against him.

Ashton lets out a heavy sigh. _In a few hours,_ he tells himself. Just need for the plane to get them back home.

He puts his camera away, figuring he can at least go back to lying down, when he notices the new position is causing Calum to fall a little, so he runs to his boyfriend’s side, doing his best to prop him back up, repositioning the bag under his head.

“What’s happening?” Calum mumbles, eyes blinking open. “Are we leaving?”

“Sh, no I’m sorry,” Ashton whispers. “We’re not leaving, you were just sliding off your seat.” He brings a hand to Calum’s hair, threading his fingers through the soft curls once before petting Calum’s head. “You can go back to sleep for now.”

Calum’s eyes promptly fall shut at that, though his hand flies to Ashton’s wrist simultaneously.

“Okay. Just stay here with me,” he says.

If Ashton were a stronger man, he might have managed to stop his face from breaking into the dumbest smile ever here in front of all these strangers.

“Sure thing, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

 _Ever_ , he doesn’t add, but it’s unsaid already. Still, Ashton thinks about it as he stays sitting on the floor, fingers not leaving Calum’s hair.

On the plane, many, many hours later, Ashton wraps his arms around Calum as they fall asleep, Calum using his shoulder as a pillow, while Luke and Michael huddle together in the seats opposite theirs. Here, wrapped up in each other’s arms, all of them are safe, and Ashton can finally let himself relax.

He’s happy to finally be going home, but what matters most, in the end, is who he’s going home with. Home wouldn’t feel like home without his loves.

  
  
  
  


**+1**

The restaurant is a lot fancier than Ashton had anticipated.

He feels a little out of place, even though they’re all particularly well dressed — even Michael is all dressed up, which Ashton knows only happened because Calum insisted — and they’ve hung out in places that were far fancier than that in the past.

It’s just, Luke hadn’t said this was where he booked them a table, so Ashton isn’t prepared to walk into the restaurant that looks like it’s decorated for a wedding reception. That makes his eyes widen a little, immediately associating that thought with his boys, but he quickly forgets about it. Right now isn’t the time to freak out by thinking about something that’s never been discussed.

The waiter brings them to their table, hidden at the back like Luke had requested, and hands them the menu once they’re all seated, Michael safely at Ashton’s side.

This isn’t what Ashton was expecting, but Ashton will be damned if he doesn’t appreciate it. Everything around them is beautiful, and the food, when it finally gets here, is absolutely phenomenal. He makes a joke about how he’s surprised Luke chose so well, considering he and food aren’t best friends — it turns out, even if he can make pancakes, he still can’t cook anything else — to which Calum jumps to defend him.

“Hey, don’t be like that now,” he says. “Just because Luke can’t cook doesn’t mean he doesn’t have taste. Am I right?”

Luke nods. “Yes, thank you. You’re the only one who gets me,” he says dramatically.

“You’re right honey, they’re just so  _ mean _ to you, aren’t they?”

Luke nods, trying to remain serious, but the corner of his lips tug up despite him, and he’s laughing into Calum’s shoulder before long.

With a roll of his eyes, Michael just raises his drink, waiting for the rest of them to do the same.

“Well, happy anniversary,” he says, his smile contagious. “I don’t know what I’d do without you here.”

An echo of similar words ring after Michael, and Ashton leans in to give him a kiss that is much more chaste than he would like to, but they’re in the middle of a classy restaurant, so Ashton reigns himself in.

When the waiter comes back to bring them the cards for the desserts, Ashton looks at Calum and Luke in front of him, sipping on their drinks while arguing on which one is the best one to order.

“Why don’t we just order several,” Michael jumps in, shrugging. “I wouldn’t mind eating some crepes and some fudge cake. And some ice cream.”

“You’re insatiable,” Calum says, but he’s already writing down all the things they can order.

It hits Ashton suddenly, like it hasn’t before, that this is his life now. That he’s got three loving boyfriends, that they all love each other more than they could count. It’s starting to sink in that this is real, that this is for the long haul. Not that he’d ever imagined anything else, really, but it’s never seemed so clear to him as right now, all four of them celebrating their first anniversary, that this is it for him. That this is it for all of them.

“Hey Mike, why don’t you go and sit next to Luke and Cal for a sec?”

“Huh, okay?”

Michael is clearly confused, but he just shrugs and gets up, ready to indulge Ashton as always. Ashton starts going through his pocket for his phone, when Luke interrupts him.

“Wait, no, I’m not having any of that,” he says, shaking his head.

Ashton frowns. “What?”

“You’re about to take a picture. Of us.”

“Well, yes?”

“Oh,” Michael lets out, understanding. “No, that won’t do, you’re never in the pictures with us.”

“I don’t need to be in all the pictures.”

“Ash,” Calum says. He gets up, rounding the table to press a kiss to Ashton’s head. “It’s our anniversary, and you’re a part of this just as much as all of us.”

“I know.”

Calum raises an eyebrow. “Do you though?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I do!” Ashton doesn’t understand where this is coming from. “Come on, sit back down. I just want a picture of you. I just– I love looking at these and seeing the three of you. Can’t you give me that?”

“Wait, is that it? That’s really why you take those pictures of us?” Luke asks.

“Yeah, why else would it be?”

“Nothing, we just.” Michael fiddles with the hem of his shirt, like he does when he’s not sure about sharing his thoughts, and lets out a chuckle. “We just kinda thought maybe you were trying to stay on the side of things? Yeah it does sound kinda stupid now. Sorry.”

“Wait what now? Are you assigning me insecurities?”

He can see Luke blushing where he’s still on his seat.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean, like. I mean you do have a tendency to not trust what’s right in front of you.”

“Luke, it’s okay.” Ashton takes a hold of Luke’s hands on the table. “I guess you’re right. But I haven’t been doing this because I feel insecure in this, I’m so sorry you got this feeling.”

“Yeah?” Michael’s voice says. His chin is hooked over Calum’s shoulder, looking at Ashton with a warm smile.

Ashton has to smile back.

“Yeah,” he says serenely. “I have never doubted your love for me. Not once. This, us? I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

His words are met with silence, and Ashton waits here for someone to say something, anything, because they’re not gonna start making him doubt _now,_ are they?

Calum is the first one to speak. “Ash, you fucking sap, I can’t believe–”

Ashton doesn’t hear the rest of it, because before he has time to comprehend what’s happening he finds himself with a lapful of Luke, who throws his arms around his neck, holding him tight.

“I love you so fucking much,” Luke says in between kissing Ashton’s jaw. “You don’t understand, I was scared there was something wrong.”

“Hey, it's all good,” Ashton says through a wet chuckle, frowning at Calum and Michael as Luke lets his lips go. “Have you guys been thinking about this a long time, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Not really, Luke brought it up a couple weeks ago, and that got us thinking.” Calum shrugs. “But I’m glad we were just mistaken.”

“Yeah, we were, and that’s embarrassing so I’m gonna forget about it,” Michael says. “Now I’m gonna go get a waiter so he can take that damn picture.”

He goes immediately, leaving the other three to look at each other dumbly. Luke doesn’t seem in any hurry to leave Ashton’s lap, so Ashton lets him stay there until Michael comes back with the waiter. Even then, Ashton prevents him from getting up, keeps him close; he’s warm and safe and it’s their fucking anniversary, a little PDA won’t kill anyone.

The waiter doesn’t bat an eye anyway, only tells Michael and Calum to sit on the other side of the table, Calum’s arms wrapped around Michael’s middle. Their smiles are so pure, Michael’s a little shy in front of this stranger focusing on them, Calum’s so big it brings out the crinkles at the corners of his eyes.

It’s possible Ashton tears up a little, but no one will ever know, as he hides his face in Luke’s neck when the picture is taken, Luke’s hand squeezing his like a promise.

Ashton vows to himself to cherish these boys forever, and maybe one day, he’ll even return Luke’s promise to them more officially.

For now, they have each other and this moment, and the picture that’ll remind them of it as long as they want to, and that’s more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
> comments/kudos are always appreciated :)  
> as always i'm on [tumblr](https://michaelownsmyheart.tumblr.com/) if you want to come say hi!


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